Chandigarh: Wedded for years and haven’t consummated their marriage. Such cases are being reported increasingly, where couples have been married for over one year to even four years, but have not had sexual intercourse with one another. Couples from Rajasthan, Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh, Uttarakhand and Delhi are showing up at various gynaecology-cum-obstetrics and IVF hospitals and nursing homes with a problem of not being able to consummate their marriage.
Dr GK Bedi, a gynaecologist based in Chandigarh, who has been dealing with such couples for over 20 years, says the number of such couples have gone up. Elaborating on the cause behind the rising numbers, she says, “Sometimes the reason is medical, such as erectile dysfunction, unsustained erection among males, and among female, frigidity or vaginismus (fear of any kind of penetration), maybe because of some childhood trauma, among others.” She adds diabetes and depression are also contributing factors.
However, there are cases where couples simply haven’t had sex inside marriage simply out of the embarrassment to perform the act or not knowing the how-to of it and come to us for the resolution of the problem, tells Dr Bedi. “And then, there are those couples pushed into wedlock very early, and that they don’t know what to do or how-to of it. In some cases, the couples simply live without having sex and they are comfortable about it. I get about two-three cases per month,” she says.
Dr Bedi said these psychological issues are variously different from the normal ones. “In one case, a man felt sinful to have sex with his wife. While in another case, a man was very supportive towards his wife since she was not willing to consummate,” she says.
Dr Vijaydeep Kaur, who is an IVF specialist from Ludhiana, says, “She gets about two cases a month where consummation in wedlock hasn’t taken place. It is not a new problem but just that more such couples are coming forward.” She adds, “Of course, reasons, for infertility and other related issues like the anxiety of non-performance have always been there.”
Dr Vani Thapar, an IVF specialist, also based in Ludhiana, too says, “Not being able to consummate the marriage is common. But most of the time the reason is frigidity among women and also men having one or the other related medical issue thus resulting in unconsummated wedlocks.” She adds, “Ten per cent of all the patients coming to IVF centres are the ones who have such issues.”
Dr RS Bedi, the former vice president of the Indian Medical Association (IMA), concurs that such cases are on the rise. Not that they weren’t there earlier but due to awareness they now are reaching out to the doctors. “In some cases, though the problem is medical, and when a couple wishes to have a progeny they come forward for IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation) intervention, etc.”